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Sadly, many couples who stay together end up living in a closet together to avoid the judgment coming from others. Whether or not the couple has children, this is very truly a family affair, since in-laws must be told, and reactions from the families of both spouses will be part of the process. Whatever you decide should be between the two of you and not from the pressure of our culture, therapists, religious leaders, family or friends.

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I told him I wanted out. My husband was surprised by my grief. The gay spouse becomes angry because they feel pressured to do something they know they can no longer do.

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Men like this whom I've worked with use pornography and: When a gay person comes out to his or her straight spouse, the couple is likely to embark on a roller-coaster ride of emotional stages that often encompasses humiliation, revenge, renewed hope, rage, and finally, resolution. Gay people think that you should come out and divorce, otherwise you are keeping a foot in heterosexual privilege.

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My feeling was, this is like a neuroses. He had a lover who he had jilted to marry me, because he was a Catholic. Go to mobile site. Their spouse entered the marriage with a LGBT orientation from the start. But the gay spouse starts to realise that they can't retreat back into the closet.

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I felt this terrible sense of loss. Sometimes a woman may have been in a heterosexual relationship for years and yet feel something is somehow "off;" and she may find herself asking, "Is my husband gay? Heterosexually married gay men feel enormous responsibility and guilt. That was also comforting.